It’s interesting how something can seem so solid one minute and melt through your fingers like ice cream in July the next. I have been grappling, with myself really, over something I felt right about. As a matter of fact I felt so solidly right about it, I was feeling self-righteous. And as I was swimming in my sea of self-righteousness, I was feeling really bad. The longer this went on the heavier the burden and the more weary I felt. And finally a good friend asked me a simple but profound question, “ok, so you feel you are right, so what is the cost of being right?”
I thought about people in our country today on either side of the political spectrum and they each think they are right. So they espouse their rightness and are frustrated and angry that the other side does not see how right they are . While the other side is aghast at the wrongness of their wayward opposition while basking on the glory of their rightness. What is the cost? The cost is: loss of dialogue, loss of connection, loss of compassion, we no longer see ourselves as part of the same human family and sadly eventually we lose the ability to love one another.
My daughter and her friend and I went to the movie the Big Miracle this weekend, it was wonderful. One of the best parts of the movie for me was the way the environmentalist, the oil baron, the Inupiats (Eskimos), the military officer and the Russian soldiers all put down their being right about their own agenda, and instead developed compassion and connection for each other. They saw they were all connected. As with all things this too was not permanent, but at that particular moment and at that particular place, some pretty divisive parties united for a common goal. And the real secret is that they all had and understood a common intent. Their intent was to free the whales.
So back to my wise friend and the cost of being right. Well as I said the solid ground I thought I was standing on turned into water and I fell in. As I dragged my sorry butt out of the water dripping wet, and I was all wet, I saw what I was doing. I lost my intent and after I lost my intent, I lost my way and clung to being right. So I had to get clear about what my intent was and after I got clear about what my intent was, lead a life of compassion and joy and fulfill my purpose, the self-righteousness faded and things became very clear, the load felt lighter and I no longer felt weary.
I am a faithful and fascinated student of my own human condition, so when I go through a cathartic episode such as this, I love to understand it. As I was exploring this it was very interesting how I noticed that being right is so disempowering. I felt like I was coming from a position of power but I was not, literally my physical energy was being drained, as well as my spiritual and emotional energy. But the other observation I made regarding this experience, was that I have found myself in this same situation at two previous points in my life, that I am aware of, there are likely more. That’s when the light bulb went off. Oh my gosh this a karmic relationship, this is a lesson I need to learn.
There is a philosophy or body of thought called karmic law, that I believe is so, it basically says we all have a life purpose and we are to discover that purpose and fulfill it. And in order to discover and fulfill our purpose we progress through a series of lessons, we are free to choose to learn the lesson or not, if we choose not to, we will repeat the lesson again and again until we finally learn the lesson so we can fulfill our purpose. These lessons are not fun, they challenge us, are difficult, painful, and uncomfortable. So karma says we will continue to attract the same experience again and again until we learn the lesson. So the real dilemma here is admitting to myself, YOU ATTRACTED THIS EXPERIENCE, AGAIN! It’s like a cosmic, “I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen,” message. So I created this, wow, what a concept, and I know it is true, I did. My intent with my life is to ultimately become the person my higher power intends me to be and share the gifts I am intended to share and if I am going to fulfill this I need to check this lesson off my list and move onward. So it is with immense gratitude and appreciation that I feel I can check this box.
So if you are feeling sorry for yourself because your always getting the shaft, this is a tough one but look inward, not outward for the source. If a particular uncomfortable experience or a particular difficult relationship seems to be a reoccuring theme in your life, try this one on, you may have attracted it to you. Humbling huh, it sure was for me. I love this quote by Wayne Dyer – “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Powerful stuff. Live, love, breathe.