From a very early age I have always been fascinated by the human condition. Why some people can face incredible hardship and come out stronger more centered and at peace while others literally self destruct. What is the secret?
I believe it all comes down to what you tell yourself. Those little voices in your head. I have become very mindful of the tapes I play in my head, and notice when they are not helpful. I want to succeed but many times my thoughts are feeding fear and failure. My cousin told me, you have to put a bubble around negative thinking. Now I will admit this sounds crazy, but I get it! Putting a bubble around negative thoughts is not burying your head in the sand, it’s actually like applying sunscreen at the beach. The damaging rays are beating down so you apply a barrier. I need to develop a barrier to those damaging thoughts.
It’s interesting how hurt I am when someone else says or does something I feel is negative. Yet internally I will “take myself out to the wood shed” constantly without reproach. Unfortunately I am my most ruthless critic. I am very quick to forgive others and move on but I do not give myself the same forgiveness.
I know when the voice in my head attacks me or anyone else it is not my highest self. When I am aligned with my highest self and live in alignment with grace, love and compassion the path is gentle. We can use our power of choice to choose our thoughts, to choose our path, to choose our reality.
I see so much self-induced misery in this world. Be mindful of your thoughts what are they telling you? Have you become captive to your negative thoughts? When you listen to those negative thoughts what manifests in your life? Watch the people you choose to surround yourself with, do they facilitate alignment with your highest self? Are you drawn to discussions about people or ideas? Do you focus on gratitude or grievances?
Try an experiment for one week pay close attention to your internal tapes, when your thoughts become negative gently interrupt those thoughts and think of one thing you are grateful for, it can be as simple as being grateful you are alive. Continue each time to replace your negative thought or grievance with an acknowledgement of gratitude. See what happens and share your experience here.
Take tender loving care of your thoughts, they will guide your life and your experience in this world. You have dreams to manifest let your thoughts lead the way.
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”
― Albert Einstein
I find it so interesting the mixed messages we receive in life and from the most well-meaning and well-intentioned sources too. Curiosity is one of those traits that we seem to have a love-hate relationship with, it is both celebrated and rewarded, yet it can also be feared and punished.
We have all heard the saying curiosity killed the cat, yet Albert Einstein was a fervent believer in the power of curiosity, one of his famous quotes, “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” I love his description of his gift as passionately curious.
I was sharing with a trusted advisor that I want to focus on bringing more joy and happiness to others through a mission at work I call the Bucket Brigade. I am enlisting others at my office to commit to filling other’s buckets at work. Bucket filling is a concept I learned from reading the book “How Full is Your Bucket?” The basic idea is that everyone carries an invisible bucket and when you spread good feelings, hugs, compliments, and love, you fill others buckets, when you criticize, complain, or condemn you are dipping in other’s buckets. Also when you fill other’s buckets your bucket is filled, when you dip in other’s buckets your bucket is also emptied.
She encouraged me to crank up my curiosity through all of this. Curiosity is an amazing thing, it is another way to expand your universe. She explained when faced with dilemma, disappointment or conflict you generally have a couple of ways to respond, with anxiety or curiosity. Truthfully there is a mixture of both, but the secret during those times, she said, and what I am trying to do, is crank up my curiosity faucet and turn down my anxiety faucet.
She explained to me how curiosity will naturally allow more room for bucket filling. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Think about a time when things did not go your way, maybe plans did not work out or someone responded in a way you did not expect. How did you feel? Frustrated, impatient, hurt, defensive? Next time stop in your tracks and ask yourself what would happen if I see where this leads? That’s right expand your horizon. If you have already gone down the road of frustration, impatience, hurt and defensiveness, what about curiously exploring another path.
I love the idea of responding with curiosity. It feels like being child-like again. I was watching my kids playing with the neighborhood kids this weekend and was so struck by their unfettered curiosity. They discovered many things together, a strange new bug, an interesting cocoon, the variety of leaves in the yard and we all collected a sample of each one. I realized how curiosity is instinctual, and through programming, conditioning and most of all ego, our tendency is to minimize our own and other’s curiosity.
Curiosity is another way to expand our lives and in a good way. No one wants to get excited about an expanding waistline or behind, but we all can get behind expanding our lives. I have really experienced such profound expansion in my life over the last two years, thankfully of the latter and not the former kind, that I am very aware and present to my own experience of contraction or witnessing contraction in others. It makes me sad to see others in a spiral of contraction and it makes me feel uneasy to be in my own contraction.
Think of it this way, when you are bit by contraction think of it as a poisonous snake and think of curiosity as the antidote. Many people are uncomfortable with too much positivity or over the top niceties, at times it doesn’t feel genuine or authentic, but curiosity is hard to fake, and it accomplishes so much.
I asked my son, what do you think curiosity means? He said it’s someone who is always asking questions? I thought about that and how wonderful that is to respond to life with questions instead of thinking we already have the answers.
“Curiosity endows the people who have it with a generosity in argument and a serenity in their own mode of life which springs from their cheerful willingness to let life take the form it will.” – Alistair Cooke