I am in a winter state of mind
I am the type of person who, as they say, does not let grass grow under my feet. During the winter my tempo or pace of constant movement is in stark contrast to the dormant cues from nature. I think about why that is so, I see the animals slowing down, hibernating, even my girlfriends joke about being summer friends because they hole up during the winter.
This particular day as I buzzed to yoga, picked up a gift and delivered it to a neighbor’s house, drove my daughter to her friend’s house, stopped by a dear elderly friend’s house to check on her and then returned home to butcher two whole free range, pasture raised chickens to make my mother’s famous fried chicken recipe, I began to wonder what IS wrong with me, exactly. Why can’t I follow the cues of nature and slow down, hibernate a little? But I feel so alive when I am helping, doing, experiencing. I can’t help it, it’s MY natural instinct to be out in the world, living life.
In the recent past I had an unexpected year-long hiatus from my career. I had the romantic notion that I would take long meditative strolls, read more, relax, stay close to home and clean out closets, that sort of thing, however, what did I actually do? I took numerous trips to see family and friends, ran a marathon, volunteered in my community, wrote a book, and then started the business plan for my latest entrepreneurial adventure. I can honestly say I was busier than when I had a job to go to everyday. While it wasn’t what I originally intended it was an amazing year, although I am still a little bitter about not getting those closets cleaned out!
I sometimes wonder maybe I am intended to live in a climate where, even though the calendar says it’s winter, the weather says…hey baby it’s summer all day every day!!! Perhaps then I would feel more in sync with my environment. I love the seasons though, I love when it’s crisp outside and get I get to put that big bulky sweater and boots on. I believe, even though it may not look like it, I am slowing down in the winter, when I compare my summer self to my winter self it is very apparent to me that I am less active. Everything is about perspective, isn’t it? So to my summer friends holed up and hibernating enjoy, I will see you after the Spring thaw, in the meantime I gotta go, I have some winter adventures to tend to.
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus