Return to Our Roots and Connect
There has been so much discussion about the tragedy in Connecticut and who or what is to blame. I think if we can blame someone or something we believe it helps bring order to this state of confusion. I think we all know it is a complex problem with no easy solutions. I noticed as I was looking at the spelling of the state of Connecticut that the first letters spell “connect” and last letters spell “cut”. I believe that understanding the importance of connection is the beginning of the solution. We have cut our connection in this society. Regardless of your lineage we all are descendants of tribal society. We have strayed far from our tribal roots. I say “we” because I know I have.
In tribal society everyone depends upon each other for their very survival. We talk about all our modern advancements and yes these things have made life easier. We need to see what we have lost in all these advancements we have lost our connection. We longer see the need for each other to survive. Perhaps we don’t need each other for our food and shelter like our tribal ancestors did but we do need each other for our spiritual survival.
I read in the newspaper this morning, a neighbor who lived two doors down from the young man who killed all those beautiful children and teachers, he said he did not know the family at all. This is not surprising we are living in neighborhoods for years, our homes, where we dwell, and we do not know our neighbors. It is so easy to do, we are busy, so busy, our kids are busy, we no longer make the time to connect with our neighbors. I see people running from this function to that function they might have three engagements to run kids to and from in one evening after school and I wonder what are they seeking for their kids for themselves.
When I was growing up in South Dakota I played every sport offered and the ones I was not playing in I was cheerleading. I do not remember running around like kids do today. I practiced after school for an hour and then walked home and still had plenty of time to play with the neighbor kids before suppertime. I do not remember this hectic schedule and pace of kids today, its crazy enough adults are going at this pace but we are now inflicting this craziness on our children. I believe our kids need to connect with each other and with nature, these are the skills they need to survive. They need to climb trees, run barefoot in the grass and they need to know their neighbors. They need to feel connected and they need to learn to connect with others.
I have a neighbor who is so deeply rooted in connection she has literally dragged me along for the ride. I thank her and bless her, it is because of her I can say I know my neighbors. Some I know more than others, but I know my neighbors. Knowing my neighbors helped me grow spiritually and it has helped me survive. Because I know my neighbors we ask each other for help when we need it, we share our burdens. We care for each others kids, we take care of each others animals, we bring dinner to each other when we are sick, we comfort each other during loss. The most important impact of knowing my neighbors, I care about them, I have a better understanding of what they are going through and I love them. Do we always get along? Of course not, its human nature to have differences but those difference are easier to work out when you are already connected and communicate.
Am I saying if that neighbor had known that young man it would have changed the outcome, no, what I am saying is that if we are going to thrive as a society we need to go back to our tribal roots and start caring about each other. My neighbor’s struggle is my struggle, my neighbor’s joy is my reason to celebrate. If we connect with each other and care about each other at home, where we dwell, we create a community, a tribe.
One thing that seems to be a common denominator in all these shootings is the perpetrator tends to be male and is very often identified as a loner. When a single family has to bear the burden of a tormented or challenged soul it can be too much. If a family is supported by a community that burden is shared. Our boys need strong honorable male role models, if that person does not dwell in your home that person could be next door or likely in your neighborhood. Our boys need connection, they need understanding, they need help expressing themselves, as boys do, physically without causing harm to others.
I cannot judge this situation from so far away. I can only share what I believe to be a problem we must address for our very survival. We are so busy being angry at each other because all we see are differences and that makes us afraid. Most of the things we do not agree on are manifestations of modern society. I believe if you take two people who are on completely opposite sides of gun control, political parties, abortion or any other divisive topic and you discuss love, those differences fade away and connection is born. Who is not in favor of love? Who does not want to be loved? Who does not have love within them? You see, the things we are debating they are a red herring, a distraction, from what is so and what we really need to see. What we need to see, discuss and manifest is connection. We need to begin where we live, connect with your neighbors, go back to your tribal roots, with connection a bond is created and from there love will grow. I know it will not solve all our problems but it is a start and it is something we are all capable of doing.
My heart is heavy for the profound loss in Connecticut, their loss is our loss. I pray for the families and I pray for all of us so we can connect and possibly help the other tortured souls out there and avoid this kind of tragedy from happening again.