A friend once told me, “sometimes it takes some discomfort to make a change”. I felt like a golden retriever with my ears perked up and sitting at attention when she said that, like she was readying me to throw a bone. I always find it interesting how certain things will really resonate with me and today that did. So I did as I always do I jotted it down. Hmmmm I need to reflect on that, there is something there for me to “get”.
I was having a particular unsettling day which I was sharing when I was given the aforementioned advice, the why doesn’t matter, but the what now does. That’s where this sage advice I received comes in to play. The issue that created this discomfort has been occurring and then reoccurring for some time. I have tried several things to “fix” or “be at peace with,” I have prayed it will resolve itself, and I have tried to ignore it. And guess what, for some reason the creator and the universe is either not satisfied with my approach or I need more patience because it’s like the game whack a mole, just when I think I’ve got that pesky mole taken care of, he pops up through another hole.
Part of my problem is I need someone’s assistance with this problem and they have not reached their boiling point with it, only a simmering, uncomfortable, uneasy point. You know like the frog in the pot of water where the heat has been slowly rising so he doesn’t jump out, and he ends up getting cooked. Meaning it’s just uncomfortable enough to squirm a little but not jump to decisive action.
So when I heard that change requires some discomfort it really hit me, so that’s what’s going on. The discomfort is there but it is growing in small enough increments that there is no inclination to act. I know I am not alone here. I think many of us fear conflict, stress or change and, therefore, we will squirm and complain but not take action. I will admit it, taking action can be risky or at least seem risky. I used to thrive on change but I find as I am getting older, I do not find change as sexy as it used to be, at least not just for the sake of only change. But change is still very necessary and natural, just as the seasons change, it’s ultimately part of our survival.
So back to change, or not to change, that is the question. What is the risk to change? What lies ahead with change, I know what the current conditions are, what if it’s worst after change? And what if my request for change is met with defensiveness and hurt feelings? The irony in all of this is that I am dealing with a situation where someone else is resisting change. So here we both sit in an awkward situation and neither wants to change. We are like two Zax, and what happened to the two Zax, the world went on around them and they missed out because neither would budge not to the east, not to the west. And because those stubborn Zax wouldn’t change their universe shrank down to a very small size.
I have noticed that as I experience change in my life, most recently that which I had no control over, my life has really expanded in ways I could have never imagined. However, I have also recognized that a resistance to change creates contraction in my life. I know if I continue to do things and experience the world in the same way, I am not growing, while the rest of the world goes on around me, I am contracting. If you are experiencing contraction in your life look seriously at what change you are resisting.
So that’s where the discomfort comes in, my friend also went on to say, “look even when your pregnant you get to the point where there is no where else to go in your belly and that baby has to come out and there is a lot of pain and agony, but what a beautiful result.” As parents we go through the birthing process with our children many times, when they go to kindergarten, when they go off to college, when they leave home. And while it is agony for us parents this change expands our children’s lives as well as our own.
Another important person in my life always refers to the paschal mystery, dying and rising, as holding the key to life. Again it is about expansion and growth, and the catalyst is change. As we celebrate Easter we celebrate change and expansion and deep love.
So now I have drawn on the wisdom of whack a mole, a boiling frog, two figments of Dr. Seuss’ imagination and Easter and I don’t know about you, but I am actually gaining some clarity here, scary isn’t it.
Posted on April 7, 2012, in Spiritual Journey and tagged boiling, change, contraction, Dr. Suess, Easter, expansion, frog, growth, paschal mystery, stubborn, Zax. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.