Unwanted situation

Today I have been obsessing about fear.  Then I thought what is fear really, so I did what I always do to seek the answers to life’s most complicated questions – I look it up in the dictionary, seriously I actually did.  I love the dictionary.  So the dictionary tells me the definition of fear is to be afraid, ok not entirely helpful so what is the definition of afraid; to filled with concern or regret over an unwanted situation.  Bingo! I am on to something here.  That is really what I am obsessing about, concern over an unwanted situation.  Yes I am living in an unwanted situation, and I am pretty sure my dad is living in an unwanted situation.  So here we are in this unwanted situation, now what?  I wish I was Dr. Phil or Dr. Joyce Brothers (if your under 40 you’re probably asking who?) and then I would gush forth with a response that would flow like a beautiful silk cloth dancing in the breeze.  And we all would breathe a sigh of relief at the comfort and grace those pearls of wisdom would provide us.  But I am neither Dr. Phil nor Dr. Brothers so my response will be some clunky confused stew or spew that will probably leave us all scratching our heads or worst yet set our heads spinning.When I get in these states I look to people who inspire me, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Oprah Winfrey.  And then I beat myself up because I am being such a big whiner and they would not be whining about their situation they would be doing something about it.  Taking action.  Of course this is taking action so perhaps I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.  So what would Oprah do “wwod”?  She would call Gayle of course.  I am not sure what Gayle would do if I called her, probably get a restraining order.  Ok this is not working.  What would Gandhi do “wwgd”? Meditate.  I have the affliction called a monkey mind.  I do meditate but I am a lazy meditator and in order to do it effectively or at least what I think is effective, I listen to a recording like Wayne Dyer that way the monkeys in my mind rest and eat a banana during meditation.  So I need to find a recorded meditation on the state of being concerned over an unwanted situation and what to do about it, way too much work.  What would Mandela do “wwmd”?  He is the great liberator, so I guess he would liberate his mind, so does that means a lobotomy.  No sorry can’t go there yet.

Well this was a productive excercise, about as productive as obsessing over a situation I don’t want but also have no control to change.  I know I can only change my perspective, how I respond, how I take action from that response.  And I guess my friends you are seeing the action I am taking from my current perspective.  How does that change anything?  It only changes how I view it.  Is your head spinning or are you just scratching it?

About itrustmyjourney

My name is Marsia I am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend and engineer. I have been journeying for awhile and decided to created this blog as an extension of my journaling and really as my therapy. I call my blog I trust my journey because that mindset has been such a comfort for me. The landscape of my life has changed pretty dramatically over the past year. All this turbulence in my life has really given me the opportunity to recognize where I need to focus energy and truly understand my purpose here. My purpose is compassion and joy. If my words have inspired compassion or joy please share them with me dear reader.

Posted on August 29, 2011, in Cancer Journey and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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